As he was looking through one of the photo books I recently completed, my daughter’s fiancé asked me what had happened to one of my friends in a picture. In the process of organizing these memories from my younger years, I thought a lot about the friends that had not only touched my life, but had a tremendous impact on the person I am. It is sad to say that I have lost touch with these wonderful women but recently I have tried to reach out to, at least, say hello.
From the time I was very little, my cousin Ann and I were inseparable. The country mouse and the city mouse my grandfather called us. I spent many summer months in Tewksbury (yes, it really was the “country” back then) and she, likewise, in Cambridge. Whenever my grandfather went to see my uncle I would do everything in my power to get him to take me along. Of course this took convincing my mother which was far more difficult than my grandfather. If for some reason I failed, Ann was always on the other end pleading with “Boss” to take her back to Cambridge with him. Ann came to the “city” where the chiming of the clock outside every hour on the hour disturbed her sleep while I went to the country where her many brothers and sisters (9 in all) woke me up at the crack of dawn while Ann blissfully slept through the chaos. In the “country” we swam, rode bikes, and walked miles to get to the only fast food restaurant, a McDonalds, to treat ourselves to a small fry each. I also went to my share of drum and bugle events there. In the city, we frequented the local museums, Fenway Park, and just hung around telling each other our secrets and enjoying each other’s company.
Ann was just a gorgeous girl, and I was a tad jealous of her. She also possessed an adventurous spirit and a joy about life that was magnetic. She brought out the best of my quiet self. We continued our overnight visits until I was a senior (she a junior) in high school, when it became increasingly difficult due to boyfriends and school commitments. Around this time, Ann back-packed across Europe and she lived in California with her father for about a year. She has overcome so many challenges including struggling with her decision of to have an abortion, the death of her boyfriend, the loss of her home and her husband’s business, the suicide of her son’s girlfriend, and surviving colon cancer. Amazingly she still has that upbeat attitude and beautiful smile. I have touched base with her a few times in recent years. She has four beautiful grandsons and I miss her. One day I may just surprise her and make a date for a drink and some reminiscing.
The photo that Dave looked at was of Betty, my best friend from the seventh grade through high school. Like many girls, middle school was not easy socially for me and in the seventh grade the group of girls I had been with for several years no longer had use for me, though I cannot for the life of me remember why. When I became an outcast, Betty, a quiet classmate, befriended me. When the seventh grade group that dissed me tried to befriend me again, I chose Betty instead. We had so much fun and stayed close friends even though we went to different high schools. One thing I remember so well about growing up in Cambridge was walking – we walked everywhere or took the T. Betty and I constantly walked. She even helped me out of the manhole when I fell in on one of our many excursions! Betty was quiet but had a great sense of humor and was always there when I needed her. I chose Betty as my maid of honor but she was eight months pregnant by the time I got married so Ann honored me by taking her place. Like me, Betty had two daughters. We exchanged Christmas cards and photos for many years but one day I just stopped hearing from her. I recently connected with her on facebook. I have sent her a couple of messages but nothing in return. In my paranoid mind, I wonder if somehow I might have unknowingly done something in the past to cause her to withdraw from my friendship. I hope not and only wish the best for her. Someday maybe our paths will cross again.
I went to a different high school than anyone else. It wasn’t easy. Although I went to high school in North Cambridge, all of my friends were from Somerville. No one from East Cambridge ever attended Matignon except me, and later, my younger sisters. For my freshman and sophomore years in high school my best friend was Sharon Daly. We had such fun together and were insane Bruins fans. When she made the varsity football cheering squad, well, that was basically it. I understood as you were not part of the cheerleader’s group unless you were a cheerleader. I hung out with Janet O’Byrne and Donna Perry for the next couple of years. By the time I was a senior I was dating Bob and was so done with high school and couldn’t wait for it to be over. Donna went to Tufts and soon had a breakdown from the pressure. I lost track of Janet.
During high school there was a girl named LuAnn Matarazzo in my class. We never connected and she basically hung around with girls she had gone to elementary/middle school with. We ended up going to college together and became close friends. A petite girl, LuAnn had the driest sense of humor. We were both out of our element at Lesley, a school of wealthy, Jewish girls. Initially we were both in special ed, but I couldn’t handle it. LuAnn, on the other hand, worked at Fernald State School and cared for severely disabled adults in occupational care. I admired that she did this with such grace and never complained. I couldn’t even deal with the smell of the place, let alone caring for the residents. We were so busy working and going to school that we didn’t get to go out much socially. She was dating Paul and I was dating Bob throughout college. I remember when Paul was trying to establish his own donut business in Dorchester, apparently too close to another donut business nearby. His business was burned to the ground one night with him inside guarding it since he had so many threats. Thankfully he got out but that was the end of his donut dream, although he established his own electrical business a few years later. Shortly after they married, LuAnn became very ill with ulcerative colitis. She was fed through a tube for many months. The medical formula she needed cost $7,200 a month – a huge sum in 1980. LuAnn had two sons and we lost touch after a few years. I recently friended her on facebook. In her profile picture, she looked as beautiful as she did in college. Yesterday I noticed a post from her that she was undergoing chemotherapy. I wrote to her and found that this is her second bout with a rare form of lung cancer. During her first chemotherapy treatments two years ago, her sister died of colon cancer. She is upbeat and battling cancer a second time. No complaints. I am humbled by her courage, even though she insists she is no hero. I am thrilled that she is still together with Paul. Interestingly Ann is still with Mark and Betty is still with Richie. Very cool. I pray that LuAnn will beat cancer a second time.
When we were in elementary school, high school, and college, we promised we would always be together and never forget one another. In the beginning, we really tried to see each other and keep the friendships alive. But as years went by, each of us had our own families and lived in different communities. We each have had our own struggles – I feel so fortunate as mine have been minor in comparison to my friends. They were, and still are, remarkable women and I still feel blessed that they were such a part of my younger years. I wish we had remained closer over the years, but sometimes life just gets in the way.
